“The Help” unifying colored folks aalll o’er this land.

So let me see if I can get this right. The movie “The Help” has been determined by some to be the equalizer of racial conflict? Yes I am overgeneralizing and perhaps making a bigger deal out of this than I should, but some days…
My son’s doctor is in Roseville. Best pediatrician on the damned planet. For the last 10 years she has been working with Milo and she is a lovely woman. Moving to a new office. Sad to see her go.
HEY! did I tell you she’s WHITE?!?!?

*crickets*

Did you just say WTF???
yeah I know.
So I am driving to the pharmacy and this fidgety old man in a Chevy is making a u-turn behind my car. He is listening to Johnny Mathis at full blast. He finishes the u-turn and pulls up beside my car.

Da Help! Dat’s a fantastic movie. I saw it three times! You should see it!

What in the hell was I supposed to say to that?

uh yeah. I loved it too! The black poor stayed poor. The old money rich never missed a beat, and that old black housekeeper never worked again.

Truly, I didn’t care much for the movie. I was not a big fan of how it tried to portray the poor, easily cast off, disrespected, people of this southern town in a light that made Jim Crow and segregation COOL!
It was a very awkward moment indeed.
Take a wild guess what I said…..

thank you.

Why?
Because he meant well…

Goddess.

Advertisements

To be young, gifted, and Black

I just dropped my son off for his 5 day Japanese intensive at the CSUS Academic Talent Search. I first want to say that I am not paranoid and I am not a bigot. I had to have what I like to call the “uncle Joe” discussion with him before I signed him in. I wanted him to recognize the lack of diversity in the student body for the program.
“Milo, do you notice anything about the students you see here?”

His first answer was that they were all alone. Then I clarified my question.

“Milo, do you notice anything about the kids and the color of their skin?”

He said they were all white. I don’t think I am creating a paranoid kid when I explained to him that many of the kids here were white and Asian for a REASON. I explained that in special circumstances such as this enrichment program, it is EXPECTED that whites and Asians be here. The general thought is that they have parents who either recognize the importance, have the money, have the time, care enough about their child’s education or a combination of all of these to want to send their kids here.

I can’t wait to see how Milo’s first day went. Either way it will be a teaching moment to remind him that it should not be a special case to be “Young, Gifted, AND Black”. It should be a blessing and an opportunity to grasp the brass ring as well.

Why is it not “important enough” or “out of reach” or unaffordable” or “just for those rich white and Asian kids”?

Why does society allow us a window of opportunity to doubt ourselves that continues through generations and leaves whole sectors of certain nationalities in the academic dust?

Read more later… I WILL share my opinion on these thoughts later.

Goddess

It takes a Village of Whup Ass to raise a child:back from the dark side

Perhaps I am being naive. Maybe I am being negative or maybe simply ignorant, but I am NOT angry. The last time I checked, no matter how much you study a particular culture you will never be able to rename your identity.

There is a possibility that I am just bitter with or tired of dealing with young teachers who believe they are being treated unjustly because they aren’t whatever ethnic group they have studied, researched, hung out with, or grew up around. So much that they may deem themselves “experts” on that topic.

Don’t get me wrong, if you were raised in a black family, then you for sure are as black as the next one. I know how it is, you trip when people grip their purses tightly as you walk by or guard their children in the playground because THEY are intimidated by little children.

My belief is that it takes far too much energy to think past the color of a person’s skin and see them for who they really are… HUMAN!

Learn all you want about a culture in your studies. Offer an academic perspective based on studies but don’t write the “cultural education bible” based on what you assume as opposed to what you have LIVED!

Just a thought from your friendly neighborhood

Goddess

It takes a Village of Whup Ass to raise a child…

whoever decided that it takes a village to raise a child must have been out of their damned mind when they coined that phrase. granted, it is a phenomenal phrase to use when you are trying to convince a new parent to ask for help from family and friends before they toss their baby out into the swirling currents of the local river in a torrential downpour.
a can of whup ass can be defined many ways. depending on the culture you participate in, it can be a pat on a diaper with a hand when the baby repeatedly pulls the dogs ear or picks the cat up by the throat, to a parent out of their mind with fury, love, and a passionate need to correct offspring so they don’t lose their job at the other end of a section of water hose and a visit from CPS!

yes. it is a broad category of love,structure, and consequences.

is there a way to have a serious discussion with regard to how children should be raised as opposed to how the textbooks tell us they should be raised?

i believe there is a middle ground that allows for “spoil the rod, spoil the child” without warranting a call to CPS.
it is perfectly okay for parents to determine the environment in which their children will be raised. the parents create the environment, set up the rules and expectations of the CULTURE are what are exhibited by the children.
the difficulty is managing your household and family culture against what society has deemed “acceptable”.

i dare the village that used the can of whup ass principle to raise children to define “acceptable”.

here is my account of interviews that occurred within a fictional village that i visited on my way to Vacaville State Hospital.

Goddess: how do you utilize a can of whup ass?

Bettina Mae: A Can of Whup Ass is best utilized to light up a child when necessary.

Oscarlisha Jean: heh heh! you said that right girl! snatchin’ up a child ain’t no sin. when you want it quiet, you just say you gon’ open up a Can of Whup Ass and they snap right to attention.

Bettina Mae: now don’t get us wrong Missus Science Lady, we don’t beat our children and leave them in misery. we beat them with love and we make sure they know what a real beatin’ is. they don’t go to the school tellin’ folk they go a beatin’ on tuesday on GP (general principal). they tell the folks that they “got in trouble”.

Oscarlisha Jean: mmmm hmmmm. you said that right girl. our children don’t run and hide from us. we ain’t messin’ wit they minds! we correctin’ they SOULS.

Bobbie Smooth: preach on OJ! if yo child ain’t right with the Lord then you ain’t done yo job right.

Goddess: so if you were taken into court and charged with child abuse, what would be your defense?

Bettina Mae: I’d tell ’em that if they think they can do a bettah job, they can take ’em and raise them theyselfs

Bobbie Smooth: *slaps knee with hand* hoooweee! my baby momma did just that and you know what that judge said?

Oscarlisha Jean: who dat?

Bobbie Smooth: that judge shook his head and said “take yo kids home and make sure they know the right story to tell next time someone wants to go snoopin’ in bidness they ain’t got no bidness in!”

Bettina Mae: Missus Science Lady, the fish fry is about done and it is time to stir the grits, can you come on back round later and we will let you know mo later.

goddess

Cheer your government

Sometimes government interventions and assistance are necessary. Government was created BY The people, FOR the people. Moving our government is not the answer,

it is a request for CHAOS. If changes are to be made, said changes should be made to the laws that govern the people FAIRLY. Removing our government is like throwing the baby out with the bath water.
No quick fix is going to work when it comes to the reconstruction of our government. If you stand on the sidelines and mutter to ourselves the team is never going to win we need to be standing in the bleachers screaming our asses off about what out common goal is GO! FIGHT! WIN!
Same with our government. When we (THE PEOPLE) speak loudly and clearly about what we need the team (LAWMAKERS) can enact game plays for a better outcome. If they start to falter in the 3rd quarter we don’t give up and abandon our team. We keep on cheering. If we lose the game, we come on back for every single Friday night until our team succeeds in doing their best toward that common goal GO! FIGHT! WIN! And we come back next season to press for greater success.
It is the ONGOING support and constructive criticism of our government that makes our country what it is. Right now, we are acting a bunch of Sacramento Kings fans who quit our team mid-season (MIDTERM) because we don’t have enough “W”‘s on our stats.

Pull it together america and cheer for your team. We are all pulling for the same thing… GO! FIGHT! WIN!

Cheer our government part deux

What solutions do we have America?

*steps onto soapbox*
Our country’s debt is an issue yes, but families living in their cars and on the streets is a far more important issue. Finding a way to reduce other country’s need to call the US for aid is one and having a willingness to give a diplomatic “NO” when we should not be helping them as a primary source is another. If private businesses and contractors want to find their way in to help sobeit, but we need to focus more on what’s happening at home.
We should support our president no matter how we feel and stop spitting negative shit about what we think he ain’t doing. We have to start at the bottom and help one another. We have to start at the community level with volunteering in schools where kids not only need to learn to read and write, but also need to learn what foods are good for them and what they can actually grow themselves. We need to look out for our elderly and not depend on government subsidy checks to help us care for them when they are old and unable to care for themselves. Lord knows we won’t have social security when we get to be that age so practice now is a good idea. Families need to come back together in multiple-family homes to help our single moms and dads with Childress while they gonto school or work.

So what I’m saying is…

Our issue is not a financial one at the heart. It is a CULTURAL one and the more we recognize what we can do for each other the more we will “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY!!”

*steps off soapbox*

Goddess

Motherhood… How I love thee… Pt. Deux

Sooo… The father who threatened to beat his son’s f**king ass in front of the sheriff decides that I can’t have a moment alone to hash out the story with my son away from the emotion charged attention paid to the situation by him. He decides he wants to listen in and I continue with my run through of the situation at hand. I know how it goes… You already have the story, but you want to hear the child’s version of it.
I shot the man a few “if you can’t say anything nice…” looks and he restrained himself but not forint. He decided he could handle no more and broke into the conversation about how doing things like he did that day could land him in jail.
His father went on to explain what happens to people in the penal system be it juvenile or adult. He said that if he went to jail, Milo would for sure find himself someone’s boyfriend. You can just hear the gears turning in this boys mind. His father then goes on to tell Milo in quick succession before I get a chance to throw my damn shoe at him that men get fucked when they go to jail. Yes he used the word “fucked” I think I missed the throwing of the final wrench into Milo’s mental gears because I was too busy trying to pick my jaw up off the floor. He said to Milo, literally, that men get fucked in prison and asked his son if he wanted another man’s dick in his ass…. Yeah he said it JUST… LIKE… THAT… I guess when you have a 14 or 15 year old who is sliding off track you can be as graphic as Milo’s dad was but uh, this child is 9!!! What an idiot. By the time I picked my jaw up off the floor and picked the cat hair out of my teeth, Milo had come to the conclusion that all men in jail were GAY!!!!!
Criminy !!!
to be continued…..

Motherhood… How I love thee…

So here’s the story on Milo’s errant behavior. Milo decided to leave the house while I was taking a nap against my wishes. he and a “friend”went to a neighborhood home and got into a bit of mischief.
Milo and the neighbor kid down the street broke into an empty home and proceeded to light fires on the stove.
I know been there done that simple. kids. door unlocked. Break in. gas still on. lighting things on fire. fine. but no. that’s not how it went down in this case. the kid down the street decided that he would take a rock and pitch it through the glass sliding door!!!!
While the boys are inside lighting fires the guy who was cutting the grass. By the way, the house was not abandoned it was merely vacant; called the cops and the cops came out and busted the kids.
I got a call during my catechism class from J telling me the cops had the boy. What possesses children to do things like this is beyond me. However I had to remain calm and calm did I remain until I spoke to the ex-husband. He immediately launches into how good a father he is because he would NEVER EVER EVER allow something like this to happen while Milo was under his care.
Yeah I stayed calm and listened to his ranting as I prepared my class for a last minute sub who would take over. While I’m doing this, I get a call from the sheriff asking me if o could come pick up Milo because he did not feel safe releasing Milo to his father. Apparently the father of my child rolled up on the scene screaming and hollering about how he was going to “beat your fucking ass”. Not too bright sayeth the ex wife. The sheriff was bent out of shape over the idiotic entrance of my intrinsically asinine asshole former spouse….
To be continued

Some of not Black America is pissed…

…truth be told, i cannot believe that certain people are unable to accept change. i think that a majority of us were taught to roll with it and accept that change happens. in the ’80s it used to be ‘shit happens’.

yes. things change.
they just do.
people change.
time changes.
minds change.

the weather… that changes.

but when the sky turns gray and the rain begins to fall, do you march on the Vatican or the Temples of the Mormon church or at Oral Roberts University because you can’t handle the change?

no.

you deal with it, put on your damn raincoats and head on out into the world.

i just want to point out a few things.

President Obama is not a BLACK MAN.
he is not a witch doctor.
he is not a reincarnation of Adolf Hitler
he is not Satan and he is not the Messiah

he is a MAN who won the presidential election of 2008.

he is the President.

we have to stop talking shit. NOTHING is getting done because we choose to sit around and bicker and complain about the change he promised us because it does not fit into the round hole.

we do not march down Pennsylvania Ave to stand outside the capitol because we are pissed that our guy didn’t win.
we put on our freaking rain coats and bend with the wind.

“I haven’t laughed so hard since Katie Couric interviewed Sarah Palin. A few thousand white folks called in sick to work last week so they could parade around the nation’s capital on Saturday and Fox News declares a revolution is underway. “

hell, some of us need to put on our waders and bring an umbrella too (there may be a few who need to put the foil back on their heads)!
but we just need to get out into the world and weather the “storm”
what that storm brings to you, and what you are willing to accept is the question.
is it going to wash away your crops or is it going to bring sustaining moisture to allow you to grow what you and your community needs?

however you take it is up to you…

put your waders on and put your pacifiers down America and let’s get this country chuggin’ again!

goddess

Love and tennis balls

*caution. NO PC FILTER APPLIED*
“I’m going to shove this ball down your f—— throat”.

Ya know, I watched the replay on this and that was no way near a foot fault.
Yes, Serena let her emotions get the best of her, and she was more than wrong for that, but the line judge said that Serena said she was going to kill her.

I have one thing to say to all of that. Say the right fucking words. (she could messed up even more and said ‘that big black girl said she was going to kill me’. THAT would have been more than wrong. Was it possible that was what she was thinking and that is why she paraphrased instead of just restating the comment by Serena?)  Either way, it should have been done better on both sides.

What she could have said to the officials was. ‘Ms. Williams said that she was going to shove the ball down my f——- throat” and let the judges go from there.  The word “kill” caused more problems than there should have been.
Impose a penalty and fine Serena for her comment and the behavior afterward, but it is time to let that shit go.

Goddess