on occasion, i just want to throw him back. then i remember just how much i love him.
It’s a damned good thing this child is so cute!!!!!
whoever decided that it takes a village to raise a child must have been out of their damned mind when they coined that phrase. granted, it is a phenomenal phrase to use when you are trying to convince a new parent to ask for help from family and friends before they toss their baby out into the swirling currents of the local river in a torrential downpour.
a can of whup ass can be defined many ways. depending on the culture you participate in, it can be a pat on a diaper with a hand when the baby repeatedly pulls the dogs ear or picks the cat up by the throat, to a parent out of their mind with fury, love, and a passionate need to correct offspring so they don’t lose their job at the other end of a section of water hose and a visit from CPS!
yes. it is a broad category of love,structure, and consequences.
is there a way to have a serious discussion with regard to how children should be raised as opposed to how the textbooks tell us they should be raised?
i believe there is a middle ground that allows for “spoil the rod, spoil the child” without warranting a call to CPS.
it is perfectly okay for parents to determine the environment in which their children will be raised. the parents create the environment, set up the rules and expectations of the CULTURE are what are exhibited by the children.
the difficulty is managing your household and family culture against what society has deemed “acceptable”.
i dare the village that used the can of whup ass principle to raise children to define “acceptable”.
here is my account of interviews that occurred within a fictional village that i visited on my way to Vacaville State Hospital.
Goddess: how do you utilize a can of whup ass?
Bettina Mae: A Can of Whup Ass is best utilized to light up a child when necessary.
Oscarlisha Jean: heh heh! you said that right girl! snatchin’ up a child ain’t no sin. when you want it quiet, you just say you gon’ open up a Can of Whup Ass and they snap right to attention.
Bettina Mae: now don’t get us wrong Missus Science Lady, we don’t beat our children and leave them in misery. we beat them with love and we make sure they know what a real beatin’ is. they don’t go to the school tellin’ folk they go a beatin’ on tuesday on GP (general principal). they tell the folks that they “got in trouble”.
Oscarlisha Jean: mmmm hmmmm. you said that right girl. our children don’t run and hide from us. we ain’t messin’ wit they minds! we correctin’ they SOULS.
Bobbie Smooth: preach on OJ! if yo child ain’t right with the Lord then you ain’t done yo job right.
Goddess: so if you were taken into court and charged with child abuse, what would be your defense?
Bettina Mae: I’d tell ’em that if they think they can do a bettah job, they can take ’em and raise them theyselfs
Bobbie Smooth: *slaps knee with hand* hoooweee! my baby momma did just that and you know what that judge said?
Oscarlisha Jean: who dat?
Bobbie Smooth: that judge shook his head and said “take yo kids home and make sure they know the right story to tell next time someone wants to go snoopin’ in bidness they ain’t got no bidness in!”
Bettina Mae: Missus Science Lady, the fish fry is about done and it is time to stir the grits, can you come on back round later and we will let you know mo later.
Not a day goes by that I don’t sit and thank the heavens above for my little Milo. When i think about the difficult decisions that I had to go through to have him, I would never choose a different struggle. He attracts the hearts of many around him. He gives you all that he has inside and sometimes gives too much. I am thankful that he can do that. I can’t truly say that I taught him, I think he’s been doing for quite a few years. he’s got something of a been there, done that frame of mind and it helps to take the stress off his living. He is mine alone and belongs to the world as well.
I continue to dig this mother thing.
Happy mothers day to all the otha mothas!!!
so goes the rest of the saga. i let Milo out from the abusive blathering of his father to walk him out of the house. i snooped around the corner at the cat tower because i wanted to hear what he had to say.
the conversation pretty much goes like this:
Dad: what you did waswrong Milo and i am not happy with the way you have been acting lately
Dad: i have always treated you like a friend and i am not not going to be able to do it that way. like i said before i am going to have to come down harder on you and i don’t want to do that
Dad: do you want me to give you what i gave you today? (backhanded slap)
Dad: okay so just remember… what you did today has tarnished our relationship and i don’t think it will ever go back to the way it was. i love you and even though you are my biological son, i have begun to love you less and am sure how much longer i can be a part of your life if you continue to do what you are doing.
his dad walked away without giving Milo a hug or telling him he loved the boy. what he did say was
“Stop fucking up!” as he walked to his car.
some days i really want to just find a dark hole to put that man in forever. i don’t get how he thinks that the actions of a 9 year old boy is going to end a relationship that sucks anyway. you are supposed to love your children unconditionally regardless of the facg tht ehy mess up. there is a reason why we as parents spend our time and precious energy teaching our children right from wrong and sacrificing for better outcomes for our children.
i am confused as to why he would even think to elevate the child to the level of an equal with him and then drop bombs on him.
dad needs a sedative and my son needs a father.
I am a foodie. If it smells good (and sometimes if it
doesn’t) I will give it a taste. I believe that all food deserves a
chance to be compared to dishes of excellence in the hopes that
their culinary creator can be hoisted above the shoulders of
foodies everywhere as the Sultan of Salami or the Matron of Maple
Pancakes. I believe that one such dish has been found!! *hoists
empty pie dish in the air* how was it made? Who made a deal with
the devil for the ability to create such a pie? A pie that causes
one’s mouth to water at the mere mention of it’s name? Not just any
old apple pie but a pie with the crust gathered from the soft
feathers of angels on high, a concoction of butter and flour with
time well spent making sure that the first bite tastes the same as
the last. Whose fingers took the time to create this magnanimous
feast of warm apples sliced so thin that they melt on your tongue
singing joyfully to reawaken your taste buds that have swooned into
a pile of spent casualties of the battle for all that is tasty.
“Mom’s Apple Pie”… TO BE CONTINUED…
i am still haunted by the things she did behind my back. i am losing it over my cell phone bill. she has not enough common sense or conscience to realize that she cannot take a phone that was given to her for contact with home and add 26 dollars worth of ring tones?
yes i am still in not so happy mood but, but damn! is there a way to cleanse my live of the irritation?
some people will say to pray. been there done that still doing that
some people recommend retail therapy. broke and jobless. plus i am paying for the bills she racked up while here.
some people say to let it go. check out my answer to retail therapy part three.
i still want to shake her parents.
i want to shake fate for dealing her such a blow.
i want to yell at the chromosomes in her body for jacking her up beyond what i can handle
i want to napalm the system. they let her down like no child should be let down.
wow! i guess i will have to stick to my same advice that i give to myself and VENT!
in time it will get better.
I get to have my life back. I wonder what kind of life i had that made me want to give it up so easily.
Foster parenting. I have had the very best/worst (depends on who you are) initiation a person could ever have into foster parenting. I think that the most important thing in foster care is the parents. if you take the time and energy to make sure that your parents are prepared and ready to encounter the children who come through their homes, the children will be headed into a far better situation.
in my situation with my first foster child, what i got was a hazing like i pledged a college sorority. i didn’t want to have a rough time with a child. i didn’t want to resent the fact that i was attempting to parent a child in a way that was more than foreign to me and not working to boot. there is a lot of psychological child raising that is not working with the human element.
I know you can praise your dogs and they will do good for you. when you work with children, you begin to notice that you ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog when it comes to your ability to train a child but someone out there writing these books may want to consider having some children of their own before telling those of us who do how to raise them.
they have personalities. they have opinions. worst of all, they have rights.
more rights than you; an over the age of 18, 21, able to drink, vote and get shot in a war have.
when did they decide that children needed more rights than adults? when people who abused their children got careless. i am sure for many generations it was okay to “spare the rod or spoil the child”. this worked when you had children who did not go to school because of the harvest and a solid beating was enough to keep them doing their work so that the family wouldn’t starve or freeze over the winter.
industrialized civilization had to find a place to put all the crumb-snatchers while the parents were out working in the cities in factories during the war effort and beating out a meager existence when Wall Street crashed.
what happened is that children became known as the less capable of humans.
those less capable of caring for themselves had to be protected from those whose place it was to care for them.
systems put in place led us to where we are now.
you always know that most of them are going to taste like shite and are going to end up back in the package with a bite out of them.
i am tired of apologizing for how i am.
yes i am funny
yes i am a caring person
yes i have my problems
yes i will listen to your
unfortunately I DON’T HAVE A FECKING FILTER!!!
the reason i stopped making apologies to people about my personality is that i cannot change it without wanting to slit my wrist to the fucking elbow.
i am done with sorry. there are some people who understand me and they will be lifelong friends because they stopped trying to figure me out a long time ago. thank the lord for patient people who understand that human nature is not to be understood always and sometimes forgiven.
i think that family is the least forgiving and for that, i will say a prayer because i can only take so much.
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Who better to pick someone who would be great for you than someone else?
The people doing the choosing are also relatives of yours? Aren’t there some Thanksgiving dinners where you just want to throw a roll at your Uncle Tony or hide the liquor from Auntie CeeCee?
Yeah. I bet you feel me on this one.
They want what is best for you as well as your family even if they are drunks and criminals.
Someone please tell me how an adaptation of Arranged Marriages can work in America. I am Sooooooo open to this idea it is scary.
first comes compatibility then comes love.
Somehow it makes more sense to me.
Help a sistah out