take your pick asshole, asphyxiation or the mouth of an active volcano?

I have been trying so hard to maintain a certain level of calm with regard to some of the things my son’s father does and i guess i have reached the end of my proverbial rope.

let me nail down some facts….

1. been divorced almost 9 years

2. been raising genius XY most on my own for those 9 years

3. genius XY was a vegetarian from birth

4. all that changed when i added fish

5. changed some more when i added chicken to our diet

somewhere between 5. and now, dad decided that it would be practical to sway genius XY from eating chicken. his plan:

1. constant discussion about how i am not following his plan of raising genius XY; i.e., raising him catholic and not TM style, raising him as a black child and not a white one (stew on this one for a while), not keeping him away from his ‘dangerous’ family members (in quotes for a reason), and not keeping him a vegetarian.

2. making genius XY feel guilty for eating meat

3. having genius XY watch a film “Meet Your Meat” from PETA on the care of farm raised chickens, aka chickens slaughtered for human consumption.

now back to my list…

6. chicken is cheap

7. chicken is easier to prepare 1,000,000 different ways

8. chicken is tasty

i have been cool, calm, and collected long enough but i guess i just have to vent here because i can’t change who my son’s father is. i can just change how i react to him. as a result, Goddess has decided to let it all out in my blog, then keep it movin’.

genius XY watching ‘Meet Your Meat’ has caused absolute CHAOS at my fucking dinner table. not an evening has gone by when i haven’t had to sit down to eat a meal of chicken to watch my child pick and nibble at his meal short of tears because he has so much trouble eating The Chickens. he is all fucked up over parts of the chicken and parts of what he sees of the film while he is eating. did his father not recognize that this would happen?

absol-fuckin-lutely not!he meant best but he doesn’t feed him meat at his home so he doesn’t have to deal with this.

perhaps he thought that milo would just make a decision to stop eating meat like Lisa Simpson did and all would be good in the hood. downside to this is that genius XY is not a able to give up chicken because his mother buys chicken that was alright until “Meet Your Meat”.

tonight i’d had it and i explained to him why i am always so cranky at dinner time. it is because his father has committed a terrorist act on the sanctity of my home and dropped a table side incendiary device onto my dining room and kitchen.

i feel like i am punishing him everytime i feed him chicken and i can’t afford to go out and buy the tender veggie nuggets or make him tofu because he will then be VERY hungry before bedtime because he is a growing boy!!!!!!

i want to choke the shit out of this man on a good day and drop him into the mouth of an active volcano on days like this.

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Goddess (yes, the very angry one )

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My future: destined to be poor, yet filthy rich in joy

Goddess is in a quandary and truly needs to find her way out FAST!!!!

The Do i really need to be filthy rich with money?
is it necessary that i find a way to be comfortable rather than a person who wipes their ass with 50’s?
i have had this sinking feeling over the past few weeks that i am going to be “not rich” for the rest of my life. it’s actually depressing to sit and think about all the great things you have to offer then realize that you may have to take a vow of poverty to achieve that success.

i want to give back to my community, to my family, to people i love.
i don’t want to do it while having to collect cans and bottles to eat.

i am running into a shortfall for income and i now have to look into going back into the corporate world. i know that i will be so horribly miserable if i go back. i won’t last long. i need to feel that the services i offer are worth enough that those willing to partake in them are willing to come out of pocket just a little bit.

i just don’t feel in my heart that people nowadays understand what is truly important.

here is a list

run a website called . it is geared toward being a one stop shop for parents in the local area to locate resources and support groups. you know things that HELP

offer finishing school for children. children are so rude and nasty today. there is a definite need to correct the behaviors of the future of our world

open a daycare. daycare really translates into “i’ll watch your kid, you pay me barely nothing and i get to take your shit and worry about whether you are going to close me down because you THINK i have the POTENTIAL for abuse or neglect because you are having trouble pulling the plank out of your own eye”

i am growing sad and even more sad as the day passes.

something has to change. my negativity is growing and quite frankly, i may just need a desk job to keep my head afloat while i continue to dream about helping people that really don’t give a shit about what they actually could benefit from.

because you know help is ALWAYS free. handouts are ALWAYS the job of someone else. and what’s yours is ALWAYS mine. didn’t they teach you that in finishing school.

Goddess

Making The World a Better Place Through Music

Making The World a Better Place Through Music.

I’d like to share with you some of the local businesses and individuals who are donating their resources for our event for FREE:

All-Star Printing

Audrey Smith-Wilberg, State Farm Insurance

Bill and Kathy Cook

California Family Fitness

Capital Nursery

Costco

Flower’s Etc

Golden State Accordion Club

Hearts for Parks

Helen Brewer

Jerry and Jo Dodge

Mary Purvis, Northern California Pageant Director

Northridge Music Center

Raleys

Robinson’s Taekwondo

Sam’s Club

Sunrise Recreation and Park District

Supercuts Auburn Blvd, Citrus Heights

Tim’s Band Instrument Service

Traders Joe’s

Wal-Mart

Walt’s Auto Service

And special thanks to Chef Steve Lowe and Family

Next, I’d like to share with you some of the local dignitaries who will be joining us on the evening of the 13th:

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Mary Purvis and the Pageant Queens

Sacramento County Supervisor Roberta MacGlashan

Mayor of the City of Citrus Heights, Jayna Karpinski-Costa

Vice-Mayor of the City of Citrus Heights Jeannie Bruins

Citrus Heights City Council Member Jeff Slowey

Citrus Heights City Council Member Steve Miller

and
Manager of the City of Citrus Heights, Henry Tingle

So as you can see, this is a BIG DEAL. Our community is stepping forward to support a program that is truly remarkable in so many ways. Our local community and government is proud to have all of us representing one of the most successful cities in our region, and they will be present to show us all that support on Saturday, March 13th.