“The Help” unifying colored folks aalll o’er this land.

So let me see if I can get this right. The movie “The Help” has been determined by some to be the equalizer of racial conflict? Yes I am overgeneralizing and perhaps making a bigger deal out of this than I should, but some days…
My son’s doctor is in Roseville. Best pediatrician on the damned planet. For the last 10 years she has been working with Milo and she is a lovely woman. Moving to a new office. Sad to see her go.
HEY! did I tell you she’s WHITE?!?!?

*crickets*

Did you just say WTF???
yeah I know.
So I am driving to the pharmacy and this fidgety old man in a Chevy is making a u-turn behind my car. He is listening to Johnny Mathis at full blast. He finishes the u-turn and pulls up beside my car.

Da Help! Dat’s a fantastic movie. I saw it three times! You should see it!

What in the hell was I supposed to say to that?

uh yeah. I loved it too! The black poor stayed poor. The old money rich never missed a beat, and that old black housekeeper never worked again.

Truly, I didn’t care much for the movie. I was not a big fan of how it tried to portray the poor, easily cast off, disrespected, people of this southern town in a light that made Jim Crow and segregation COOL!
It was a very awkward moment indeed.
Take a wild guess what I said…..

thank you.

Why?
Because he meant well…

Goddess.

Black is Beautiful…

Black is Beautiful…

…but why does it have to be from the Motherland, tall and thin? many times i get caught up in the whole color issue and i recognize that my own people have issues with me and how i appear to them.

…i know i am beautiful

…i know i am black

…i know i am confused why i am still single and why i can’t find a good black man

there are men of many other ethnicities who want my attention, but it seems as if i am simply a flash in the pan, curious exploration (done so slowly that i don’t stick around long enough for them to get their nerve up), or notch on a bedpost.

…that’s not what Goddess wants

i mean to offend no one but perhaps i will but i fall more into the category of Aunt Jemima rather than Iman.

…i am not so tall

…i am not so thin

…i am not so exotic

i am just me…

…i am

…black

…i am

…beautiful

…Goddess…

My future: destined to be poor, yet filthy rich in joy

Goddess is in a quandary and truly needs to find her way out FAST!!!!

The Do i really need to be filthy rich with money?
is it necessary that i find a way to be comfortable rather than a person who wipes their ass with 50’s?
i have had this sinking feeling over the past few weeks that i am going to be “not rich” for the rest of my life. it’s actually depressing to sit and think about all the great things you have to offer then realize that you may have to take a vow of poverty to achieve that success.

i want to give back to my community, to my family, to people i love.
i don’t want to do it while having to collect cans and bottles to eat.

i am running into a shortfall for income and i now have to look into going back into the corporate world. i know that i will be so horribly miserable if i go back. i won’t last long. i need to feel that the services i offer are worth enough that those willing to partake in them are willing to come out of pocket just a little bit.

i just don’t feel in my heart that people nowadays understand what is truly important.

here is a list

run a website called . it is geared toward being a one stop shop for parents in the local area to locate resources and support groups. you know things that HELP

offer finishing school for children. children are so rude and nasty today. there is a definite need to correct the behaviors of the future of our world

open a daycare. daycare really translates into “i’ll watch your kid, you pay me barely nothing and i get to take your shit and worry about whether you are going to close me down because you THINK i have the POTENTIAL for abuse or neglect because you are having trouble pulling the plank out of your own eye”

i am growing sad and even more sad as the day passes.

something has to change. my negativity is growing and quite frankly, i may just need a desk job to keep my head afloat while i continue to dream about helping people that really don’t give a shit about what they actually could benefit from.

because you know help is ALWAYS free. handouts are ALWAYS the job of someone else. and what’s yours is ALWAYS mine. didn’t they teach you that in finishing school.

Goddess

To be young, gifted, and Black

I just dropped my son off for his 5 day Japanese intensive at the CSUS Academic Talent Search. I first want to say that I am not paranoid and I am not a bigot. I had to have what I like to call the “uncle Joe” discussion with him before I signed him in. I wanted him to recognize the lack of diversity in the student body for the program.
“Milo, do you notice anything about the students you see here?”

His first answer was that they were all alone. Then I clarified my question.

“Milo, do you notice anything about the kids and the color of their skin?”

He said they were all white. I don’t think I am creating a paranoid kid when I explained to him that many of the kids here were white and Asian for a REASON. I explained that in special circumstances such as this enrichment program, it is EXPECTED that whites and Asians be here. The general thought is that they have parents who either recognize the importance, have the money, have the time, care enough about their child’s education or a combination of all of these to want to send their kids here.

I can’t wait to see how Milo’s first day went. Either way it will be a teaching moment to remind him that it should not be a special case to be “Young, Gifted, AND Black”. It should be a blessing and an opportunity to grasp the brass ring as well.

Why is it not “important enough” or “out of reach” or unaffordable” or “just for those rich white and Asian kids”?

Why does society allow us a window of opportunity to doubt ourselves that continues through generations and leaves whole sectors of certain nationalities in the academic dust?

Read more later… I WILL share my opinion on these thoughts later.

Goddess

It takes a Village of Whup Ass to raise a child:back from the dark side

Perhaps I am being naive. Maybe I am being negative or maybe simply ignorant, but I am NOT angry. The last time I checked, no matter how much you study a particular culture you will never be able to rename your identity.

There is a possibility that I am just bitter with or tired of dealing with young teachers who believe they are being treated unjustly because they aren’t whatever ethnic group they have studied, researched, hung out with, or grew up around. So much that they may deem themselves “experts” on that topic.

Don’t get me wrong, if you were raised in a black family, then you for sure are as black as the next one. I know how it is, you trip when people grip their purses tightly as you walk by or guard their children in the playground because THEY are intimidated by little children.

My belief is that it takes far too much energy to think past the color of a person’s skin and see them for who they really are… HUMAN!

Learn all you want about a culture in your studies. Offer an academic perspective based on studies but don’t write the “cultural education bible” based on what you assume as opposed to what you have LIVED!

Just a thought from your friendly neighborhood

Goddess

It takes a Village of Whup Ass to raise a child…

whoever decided that it takes a village to raise a child must have been out of their damned mind when they coined that phrase. granted, it is a phenomenal phrase to use when you are trying to convince a new parent to ask for help from family and friends before they toss their baby out into the swirling currents of the local river in a torrential downpour.
a can of whup ass can be defined many ways. depending on the culture you participate in, it can be a pat on a diaper with a hand when the baby repeatedly pulls the dogs ear or picks the cat up by the throat, to a parent out of their mind with fury, love, and a passionate need to correct offspring so they don’t lose their job at the other end of a section of water hose and a visit from CPS!

yes. it is a broad category of love,structure, and consequences.

is there a way to have a serious discussion with regard to how children should be raised as opposed to how the textbooks tell us they should be raised?

i believe there is a middle ground that allows for “spoil the rod, spoil the child” without warranting a call to CPS.
it is perfectly okay for parents to determine the environment in which their children will be raised. the parents create the environment, set up the rules and expectations of the CULTURE are what are exhibited by the children.
the difficulty is managing your household and family culture against what society has deemed “acceptable”.

i dare the village that used the can of whup ass principle to raise children to define “acceptable”.

here is my account of interviews that occurred within a fictional village that i visited on my way to Vacaville State Hospital.

Goddess: how do you utilize a can of whup ass?

Bettina Mae: A Can of Whup Ass is best utilized to light up a child when necessary.

Oscarlisha Jean: heh heh! you said that right girl! snatchin’ up a child ain’t no sin. when you want it quiet, you just say you gon’ open up a Can of Whup Ass and they snap right to attention.

Bettina Mae: now don’t get us wrong Missus Science Lady, we don’t beat our children and leave them in misery. we beat them with love and we make sure they know what a real beatin’ is. they don’t go to the school tellin’ folk they go a beatin’ on tuesday on GP (general principal). they tell the folks that they “got in trouble”.

Oscarlisha Jean: mmmm hmmmm. you said that right girl. our children don’t run and hide from us. we ain’t messin’ wit they minds! we correctin’ they SOULS.

Bobbie Smooth: preach on OJ! if yo child ain’t right with the Lord then you ain’t done yo job right.

Goddess: so if you were taken into court and charged with child abuse, what would be your defense?

Bettina Mae: I’d tell ’em that if they think they can do a bettah job, they can take ’em and raise them theyselfs

Bobbie Smooth: *slaps knee with hand* hoooweee! my baby momma did just that and you know what that judge said?

Oscarlisha Jean: who dat?

Bobbie Smooth: that judge shook his head and said “take yo kids home and make sure they know the right story to tell next time someone wants to go snoopin’ in bidness they ain’t got no bidness in!”

Bettina Mae: Missus Science Lady, the fish fry is about done and it is time to stir the grits, can you come on back round later and we will let you know mo later.

goddess

How To Better Teach Today’s Children

Interdependence is crucial to a successful society

Not only should children learn to understand and apply lessons and help from parents, they must learn that becoming an adult does not mean moving away completely from family. In order to succeed on their own, children must, not only repay their debt to their parents by being there to assist when needed, they must also know that continuing to support one another helps the entire family. My family unit works closely with one another and assists by assisting when asked and not giving unwarranted advice. We have a good understanding of our family culture and makeup. This allows us to design methods by which we guide one another.

Parents are indispensable in the classroom
There is a need for more supervision in the school. There are many schools in which children are losing their recesses because of limited staff available to watch them on the playground. I see this firsthand as my son in a school in which there is limited staffing at his school and a lack of persons who can help with the basics like lunch, recess, morning line up and classroom assistance. Teachers should not be required to educate alone. With class sizes skyrocketing and students still being left behind regardless of the federal programs like NCLB in effect, parents must be present in outside class activities like field trips as well as in the classroom setting. Field trips and recess and lunch duty will also let the children know that parents are in the community to care and protect. Many children are in the position to forget the rules of home when in a different environment. School is one of those environments in which a parental presence will help keep children’s behavior consistent with family rules and rules of the culture/classroom. It is beneficial for a child to know that a parent or family member can show up unannounced or know a teacher has a number to call to report performance (good and bad).

Social responsibility and its influence
As a parent, I focus on teaching my son that he is not only responsible for what he learns but also for what he does with it. An example I give him is, you can spend your entire life developing the cure for cancer in your kitchen, but it does no good to anyone if you keep it in your kitchen. Children need to be educated to have a purpose in life and to know and feel confident that they can make an indelible impression on the world around them if they apply their lessons on a social level. In working with foster children and in the education field, a great deal of knowledge is right at our fingertips in what we can learn from our students. Being the one who holds a credential to teach does not mean what we teach is unidirectional. We must learn to listen to students; paying attention to cues in order to learn from them how best to teach. This, I believe will make us better educators. There is no reason why children cannot teach us how to be compassionate. If we have forgotten how to share because we can buy what we need as adults we are lost if we cannot remember what it was like to not have what we want. We must remember that our culture is not the only one working in society. We have children from all over the world in varying parts of our own neighborhoods.

Happy Mother’s day

Not a day goes by that I don’t sit and thank the heavens above for my little Milo. When i think about the difficult decisions that I had to go through to have him, I would never choose a different struggle. He attracts the hearts of many around him. He gives you all that he has inside and sometimes gives too much. I am thankful that he can do that. I can’t truly say that I taught him, I think he’s been doing for quite a few years. he’s got something of a been there, done that frame of mind and it helps to take the stress off his living. He is mine alone and belongs to the world as well.
I continue to dig this mother thing.
Happy mothers day to all the otha mothas!!!

Goddess

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Cheer your government

Sometimes government interventions and assistance are necessary. Government was created BY The people, FOR the people. Moving our government is not the answer,

it is a request for CHAOS. If changes are to be made, said changes should be made to the laws that govern the people FAIRLY. Removing our government is like throwing the baby out with the bath water.
No quick fix is going to work when it comes to the reconstruction of our government. If you stand on the sidelines and mutter to ourselves the team is never going to win we need to be standing in the bleachers screaming our asses off about what out common goal is GO! FIGHT! WIN!
Same with our government. When we (THE PEOPLE) speak loudly and clearly about what we need the team (LAWMAKERS) can enact game plays for a better outcome. If they start to falter in the 3rd quarter we don’t give up and abandon our team. We keep on cheering. If we lose the game, we come on back for every single Friday night until our team succeeds in doing their best toward that common goal GO! FIGHT! WIN! And we come back next season to press for greater success.
It is the ONGOING support and constructive criticism of our government that makes our country what it is. Right now, we are acting a bunch of Sacramento Kings fans who quit our team mid-season (MIDTERM) because we don’t have enough “W”‘s on our stats.

Pull it together america and cheer for your team. We are all pulling for the same thing… GO! FIGHT! WIN!