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Companionship? love? or a reason to commit murder?

Who the hell in sam fuck all decided that men were necessary for companionship?

i am willing to bet you that a man did.
I find myself lately on a daily basis trying to figure out why i continue to find difficult men in my quest for I-don’t-wanna-be-single-no-more-hood.
i fully recognize that i myself, am a difficult person.
i hide no shame in my ability to be a pain in the ass WHILE expressing my opinions.
i understand that i am not perfect and it is not plausible for me to expect perfection of others.

i know. i know. i know.

i wasn’t born yesterday.
so why do all the men i date act like i was?

i’m either finding someone who can’t stay away from me lest i crumble into a pillar of salt. or someone who turns out to be gay. better still, who treats me like dirt because they think i should pay for all the bitches who did them wrong. wait, don’t forget the dude from the bay with the crazy fetish.
i am not here for emotional target practice.
i’m holding the UZI. perhaps that’s why the pickings are so slim on my side of the LZ

What i don’t understand is why i like my DOG more than men most days. No matter how hard i try, i seem to find my equal in bullheadedness with the men i date. i want to know what the hell i did to cause the backlash that i experience every day that i am in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex. did i sacrifice my youngest on the alter in 75 B.C. with my wife wailing in the background? did i punish all girls in my village with blond hair by removing their ears? was i the dude lucky enough to be chosen to select the virgin for tossing into the volcano?

what in the hell did i do? i was looking at some books in my shed today and i found the book “loving a difficult man” and almost fell backwards and down the stairs. i obviously stayed in a relationship far too long if i had bought that book. good for me because of the title even better for the author. what if the author had been honest and published it with the right title “how to put up with a difficult man” or better yet, “how to bury a difficult man…and get away with it scott free to be able to live your life the way you want it with the perfect mate”. what would the author stand to lose?
not much. “why” you ask?
because women are desperate and will buy anything that will tell them that a relationship will work out if they just put their nose to the grindstone. so what if she spends the rest of her life looking like “he who shall not be named” at least she stuck around long enough to prove all of the feminists, lesbians and bitter ex-wives wrong.

shame on me for thinking that i could find a good man.

i am surely coming to the conclusion that i may never find the right one.

as i type this, i have one in my bed right now snoozing away because he was more tired than he was willing to work on something that has been bothering me for the past week.
do i know what that is? no. I AM A WOMAN FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!

we are supposed to be so in love.
then i got to thinking about how it seems that he is the one in love with me more than i with him.
i expect to be able to be myself but the self that he is sometimes is more than i can stand. why? be cause i am the picky one? because i am the one who can’t seem to listen to the voice of reason… *ahem* manly *ahem* reason?


women are not supposed to be the most rational beasts on the planet but sometimes men need to turn off their need to fix shit and just shove a sock in their mouths and LISTEN! i truly feel that if international conflicts can be solved this way, so can relationships (no really, i heard it did work once, but i think it was either Jimmy Carter talking or Bill Clinton).

this tends to not be the situation… not even close. someone always has to love one more than they other. there has to be imbalance. why have relationships if you can’t have conflict? why have relationships if you don’t have something to work on? why have relationships if you can’t have a reason to sit out in the living room and blog instead of heading to bed at 12:44am on a Sunday morning even though you were up at 6:30am being rushed out of bed to take the dogs to the dog park because you would be invited to a complaint-fest if you said you wanted to go at 8am because someone likes to over plan shit?

is that fair?
*stomps feet*
who the hell wrote the book on love?
*shakes fist at the sky*

oh yeah. see line 3…

to be continued…


About ramblingsingleparentgoddess

a single parent comments on life and the pursuit of sleep. politics and current issues fall into play on the daily. read up

6 responses to “Companionship? love? or a reason to commit murder?

  1. *comments taken from FaceBook WP post*
    Rhonda L.

    my husband is like that. He listens to nothing (most of the time). He just wants to fix things. Sometimes, listening is all i need. Sometimes, there IS no “fix” to the situation.
    Relationships are never perfect. They’re always somethi…ng to work on. I’ve been married for almost 17 years.. Not ONE DAY has been perfect. I have the “men are from mars” books. Both of them. (there was a follow-up to the first book). Those never worked either. Talking helps. It’s as simple as give and take. I have a hard time with that stuff. I want things a certain way. He’s a hardcore procrastinator. It’s always hard. But, the good times, for us… out-weigh the bad.

  2. Esther B
    Gracie, never try to figure out what makes a man tick…if you do you will have no more hair. You have to decide whether or not you can love their faults, their inability to understand spoken and unspoken words from you, and love them anyw…ay. There is no perfect man, no Prince Charming. I figured that out a long time ago. The question is, are you friends? Do you have anything in common besides sex?? Can you picture yourself with this person in 80 years??
    I have found that with my husband and I that we have grown far apart and if you take away the kids and work to talk about, that we don’t have anything really of substance to talk about. Do you try to make it work just because you have been together for 18 years?? Do you try to find a commonality?? I haven’t figured that out yet. There have been times where he has done absolutely nothing wrong, looks at me smiling and I want to go over and smash him right in the face and ask him why the hell are you so Damned happy?? Is that my problem?? yes. But I have felt that way.
    I hope that you find your answers that you are looking for, I’m still looking for mine and the peace that comes with it. Or so I have been told…lol =)

  3. Joanne M. I can relate (in the past of course) you met my ex husband. However at this point in the game honesty is best. Love is nice but its equally important to find your best friend in the man that shares your bed, a team mate. Gotta know he is strong and has your back and knows when to back the fuck off when you need him to but be intuitive enough to know when to pull you into his arms when you need him to. Such a rare find (I hit the jackpot) but I went through hell to earn him I think.

  4. Ladies,
    I tried but I guess I got tired of trying today. I think that when two people are together, they are bringing together two worlds. Those worlds often collide. I am not sure if there is a way around that happening but at least if it is expected, it shouldn’t be too traumatic.
    the good thing about this type of collision between two people who are capable of relationships is that you know there has to be something left after the collision. when the both of you work together to pick up the pieces that are left over, you have something to work WITH not AGAINST. both of you created these leftover parts that you can call your own (your meaning the couple). i have no problem with the collision but when there is problems with the picking up the pieces (the collision) there are more problems that arise and the it becomes a vicious circle. my son just bugged the hell out of him asking for help with his homework and the rest is history AGAIN. he has grabbed all of his stuff and walked out of the door telling me he will see me another day. maybe it is time to return to dating him without my son present as they are not getting along. now is not the time to focus on THEIR relationship when we need to be working on OURS.
    he is a friend. he is a fantastic guy but he has a lot of trouble with my scheduling procedures. i have a CHILD there is no way around it, the kid ain’t going back and he is here to stay. if you want to be a part of that equation, you have to stop sliding your 0 up under every number.
    it’s bullshit that i am even typing this. i am not as mad or upset as i think i should be but i don’t have hissy fits and leave a situation rather than work on picking up the pieces.


  5. Joanne M. there isnt anything hot about a man throwing a hissy

  6. and just like any mother would do with their child i have to do with him too. let him have it. he wasn’t listening anyway when he walked out the door. i’m catholic. i got that guilt shit down pat.
    you can leave but leave the key too if you …want to really make a point. he has been grumpy for the last few days. shit. i ain’t never grumpy like this.


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